From CrownHeights.info: When speaking in vague riddles is the way to best get your point across

In a race to the bottom of the editorial ladder, CrownHeights.info has blessed us with a new masterpiece that spends 1,188 words saying absolutely nothing. Apparently, vagueness is the 614th commandment and I missed that class in yeshiva. Personally, I can’t think of a more obnoxious way to waste someone’s time, but clearly this Anonymous poster disagrees. To his credit though, he didn’t use ChatGBT, as the typos alone could qualify as a new dialect.

I have been thinking about writing this article for a long time but have refrained because it’s a painful topic. Recently, the pain of writing has been outweighed by the pain of not writing so I will opt for the lesser pain.

In usual pathetic ghetto Jew fashion, Anonymous begins by announcing that he is a weak beta male who always takes the path of least resistance and somehow thinks that’s virtuous. Not sure why he thought that was a bragging point, but okay. The next several paragraphs are spent rehashing the history of the Oral Torah like a Chabad House lecture for beginners, so I’ll spare you that draying monologue.

Then comes this gem: Average Jews cannot invent new ideas or practices on their own.

Not sure where he got that from. Chassidus was built on creative defiance. The Baal Shem Tov literally invented a new spiritual vocabulary, and the misnagdim lost their collective minds over it. If innovation disqualifies you, then all of Chassidus is treif. Many minhagim we follow today started with ordinary people. If Anonymous read even one book without fear of his mashpia’s disapproval, he’d know that.

If there are any Mashpi’im who validate this perspective, they are definitely not ones who were born into families and raised with our Mesorah.

Sure, in theory, lineage matters, but his argument collapses the second he has to name an actual idea, which he never does. I'm still in the dark here, like every other reader who can't read minds.

Lubavitch is one path of practicing and preserving the tradition we received on the Mount Sinai.

Once again, one of the biggest complaints against Lubavitch is that we have kinda forged a different path from traditional Ashkenazi Jewery. The difference is we’re proud of it.

For many years now Lubavitch has been tolerant of a group of people with whom we share our community name… These people have taken the liberty to interpret the texts in their own way and implement and promote Jewish practice as such…

OMG, can this guy be more vague? Why doesn't he say what he is complaining about? Why is this so complicated? Is no one else deeply annoyed by reading this drivel that they still have zero idea what he is complaining about?

There are already members of this group who have given themselves the liberty of putting on 4 pairs of Tefilin without the approval of a Rav...

Okay, so he finally named one thing he’s complaining about, but I don’t know anyone who’s actually doing this, so it's obviously not be a widespread issue. This whole article is basically him whining about some fringe lunatic no one’s ever met. Can we get some better examples, or did I just waste my time reading all this vague drivel? What a clown this guy is; a thousand words of empty moral panic with zero substance. If narcissistic rambling were a mitzvah, this man would be the next Rebbe.