Kaparos

As Yom Kippur rapidly approaches, we all need to do our due diligence and show G-d what superb social justice advocates we can be before judgement is handed down by bashing Kaparos and using as many 'as-a-Jew' lines as possible.

HAHA! Just kidding. Last night on Eastern Parkway, there were many vegans and vegetarians protesting us fulfilling the mitzvah of Kaparos in the most hidur way; using a chicken. There were even Jews there telling me that Hashem forbade us from eating meat after the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash. Although when pressed, they admitted that they had absolutely no source for this idea whatsoever (obviously, as none such exists). Professionally useless 'rabbis' such as this imbecile, and their 'Jewish vegetarianism' crap, grant these anti-religious groups legitimacy.

Just a quick little thing to add here: I included visual aid before anyone decides to bash kaparos: if you decide to bash kaparos after reading my wonderfully-worded article, you will have to do so in front of the leader of our generation.

I would like to thank these vegan groups for sending their most untalented debaters to Crown Heights for me to have a crack at. They even videoed me making one of their representatives look like a fool in front of the crowd, which elicited jeering laughs and giggles out of the Lubavitchers present. One of them even told me that I should run for president.

Based on the poor debating skills of the bochrim present prior to my arrival (although their hearts were in the right place), I strongly believe a debate class by Ben Shapiro should be mandatorily offered in all Mesivtas and Zals.

And if you were the one who took that video, please email it to me.