Ah yes, the Shidduch House. Because what could possibly be more productive for a 25-year-old single girl than spending her Wednesday night eating Costco rugelach and making awkward small talk with a 63-year-old professional bottleneck?
“Meet the Shadchan” event for girls… a wonderful opportunity to connect, gain guidance, and take meaningful steps in your dating journey…
Translation: Waste two hours nodding politely while someone with a Bluetooth headset and six open Excel sheets tells you you're not married because you went to the wrong seminary and wore the wrong shoes to a wedding two years ago.
Here’s a wild thought: what if, instead of filtering your entire romantic future through the social anxieties of other women’s mothers, you just went out for coffee with a guy?
But no. Better to schedule a one-on-one with a yenta whose greatest contribution to Klal Yisroel is ranking girls based on their siblings’ tuition discounts.
You’re not "taking steps in your dating journey." You’re reinforcing a system that keeps you single just long enough to make you desperate enough to settle.
Modern Rashi says: The only thing you’re meeting is the person standing between you and your next first date.
Bring your resume. Leave your self-respect at the door.
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