While doing extensive research into this supposedly unsolvable issue—because I actually care about truth, not hugs—I chanced upon an organization purporting to tackle this disaster head-on. It's called End the Madness! and spoiler alert: the only madness it ends is your will to live after reading their website.
As is customary, I decided to Rashi (v) up their content. Let’s go line-by-line, shall we?
Mission Statement
“EndTheMadness.org is an ambitious and unique effort to combat the angst and hardships associated with dating in the religious Jewish community.”
Without listing any ambitious or unique steps they've taken to combat anything, the only thing I can ascertain is that the writer for this website cannot be older than 12. Either that or he outsourced the copy to a Camp HASC bunk.
Why is this Project Necessary?
“All prior efforts to end the so-called ‘Shidduch Crisis’ have failed.”
Can you please explain what the “Shidduch Crisis” is? Please??? Just once? With adult words?
“This fact, which is evidenced by the ever-burgeoning number of religious singles and the rising percentage of failed marriages…”
The failed marriages are in large part thanks to idiot rabbis like "Rabbi" Shmuel Druin and their brilliant advice like “just get married already.” And the “ever-burgeoning” number of frum singles? That’s due to everyone—especially women—trying to marry five rungs above their league like it’s a game of Pokémon Shidduch Edition. Gotta catch that dentist.
“…must be recognized.”
By creating a website that says literally nothing except “we’re upset.” Revolutionary.
Their Analysis of Failed Solutions
“Here is a brief but rather complete list of current attempts to address the ‘Shidduch Crisis’…”
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Matchmaking (“professional” or otherwise)
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Singles events (Shabbatons, NCSY, etc.)
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Speed dating, online dating
So... the ways people meet each other. And you’re against this?
“What do these have in common? They are all designed to help singles meet one another.”
Right, which is generally how marriages begin. Unless your idea of a relationship is two people bumping into each other on a Birthright bus and then writing essays about it on Times of Israel.
“Different methods cater to different personalities and religious idiosyncrasies…”
You mean the people who want to marry someone with shared values? Scandalous!
“…but the bottom line is always the same: bring singles together in some fashion and hope for the best.”
Yes, because forcing people together without bringing them together is definitely a winning strategy.
“If helping singles meet was all that was needed, there wouldn’t be any ‘Shidduch Crisis’.”
False. Meeting people isn’t the problem. Meeting people you’re compatible with is. This is like saying “there are plenty of jobs out there” to someone with a Master’s in Puppetry and a felony record.
The Goal
“Our goal is to give chizzuk to those who are revolted by the system…”
The system where people meet, talk, and maybe get married? How revolting.
“Let them know that there are many thousands of serious, committed Jews all around the world who support them.”
Translation: Let’s create a support group for people who aren’t dateable and convince them it’s everyone else’s fault.
“Let them feel increasingly secure in discarding the chains of social pressure.”
Yeah, ignore all feedback and constructive advice. Just blame the system and keep refreshing your blog stats.
“Let them know that instead of perpetuating the sickness, they can perpetuate the cure.”
Which is... vague rhetoric and a poorly formatted HTML covenant?
The Covenant (finally, something to mock)
“I affirm belief in the following principles…”
I’m already rolling my eyes. But let’s dive in.
1. It is fundamentally wrong to judge someone based on non-Halachic externalities…
Yes, yes. Ugly people deserve love too. I believe this gets to the core of the site. Chananya Weissman—End the Madness’s founder, and man most likely to be rejected from Saw You at Sinai by the filter algorithm—is tired of getting turned down. Why? Because he's weird, lacks personality, and has the physical appeal of a raw kugel. So he built a website demanding that the rest of us lower our standards until he gets a yes. Revolutionary activism.
2. Religious customs are optional and shouldn’t be weaponized.
No one’s doing this. What happened was a girl said “You’re not for me,” and Chananya, being Chananya, decided it was because she didn’t like his obscure chumrah in negel vasser placement.
3. Social pressure to date (or not date) is wrong.
Also not the problem. The problem is when a 39-year-old man says, “I’m just waiting for Hashem to drop her off at my front door,” while eating Kix out of a plastic cup.
4. The only true shadchan is Hashem.
So you’re saying human effort is optional? Good. I’m also waiting for my bank account to fill up miraculously. Hasn’t happened yet. Might be because that’s not how effort or life works.
5. It is a sin beyond description to belittle baalei teshuva.
Agreed. Except no one is actually doing this. Some people just want to marry someone with the same background and values. It’s not sinas chinam—it’s called being realistic.
6. It is not bittul Torah to date.
No person with a functioning brain has claimed this since 2003. You were clearly reaching for 10 Commandments and needed filler.
7. It is intrusive to ask petty questions before dating.
Define petty. Asking “Is she mentally stable?” is not narcissism. It’s due diligence. Grow up.
8. Bashert ≠ Bank account
Okay, you got one. Mazel tov. Keep it up, and we’ll promote you to "occasional insight."
9. Look for what you need, not perfection.
Fine, another good point. Too bad no one reads this far.
10. Singles should feel comfortable talking to each other.
Again, true. But doesn’t solve the “crisis.” Social awkwardness isn’t the crisis—it’s the symptom. The crisis is that frum society produces adult children who expect a fairytale and blame everyone else when they don’t get it.
Conclusion
So what is End the Madness? A support group for socially awkward dudes who blame the system instead of looking in the mirror.
Chananya Weissman isn’t solving the shidduch crisis. He’s weaponizing it to make excuses for his personal failings. Rather than improving himself, developing confidence, or doing literally anything to become more desirable, he built a shrine to his victim complex. Every page on that site screams the same thing:
“It’s not me, it’s you.”
Sorry Chananya. You can rant about customs and pressures all you want. But at the end of the day, the reason you’re single is the same reason no one RSVPs to your parlor meetings:
You’re just not that interesting.
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