There exists within Judaism a tragic infestation of fake rabbis. Many even walk around with “Orthodox” semicha, waving it like a backstage pass to wisdom. One such figure is Michael Broyde—also known by his drag name, "Rabbi Hershel Goldwasser."
Broyde is the academic equivalent of an off-brand gefilte fish: sketchy origins, questionable content, and somehow still invited to the table. He teaches "Jewish ethics" (pause for laughter) at Emory University. That is, when he’s not being suspended for gross ethical violations. Yes, you read that right. The man who lectures on Jewish integrity created a whole fake persona—Hershel Goldwasser—to compliment himself on his own made-up halakhic rulings. The only thing more tragic than his need for self-validation is the fact that it almost worked.
Apparently, being mediocre and irrelevant wasn’t enough. So he pulled the classic move of every underwhelming man with a keyboard: he wrote an article. This time, it was to whine about the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Why? Because Hashem forbid there be even one policy in America not shaped by the liberal guilt complex of every failed rabbi teaching Talmud to Baptist undergrads.
Now, I sent Broyde’s article to a friend of mine—he's never taken an English class in his life and can’t spell “abortion,” but even he got the point:
“I couldn't read this. Very badly written. Looked at the bottom and saw all he wants is to bend Jewish law to his ideas.”
Exactly. So let's unpack this masterpiece of word salad and wishful thinking.
The Setup
"With all the ink spilled over the overturning of Roe v. Wade… what does Jewish Law think the abortion law of the United States ought to be?"
Spoiler: He never answers this question.
Instead, Broyde spends the next 5,000 words desperately trying to convince his Emory faculty listserv that he’s not one of those Orthodox Jews—you know, the ones who believe in God and Torah and things. Gross.
The Tap Dance Around Noahide Law
Broyde claims that Jews are not obligated to promote Noahide Law to non-Jews. Why? Because Rambam said yes, but everyone else said "meh," and the Rebbe said absolutely—but that's just a "minority opinion."
Translation: Anything that doesn’t align with Michael’s left-of-center sensibilities is dismissed as “minority,” “non-binding,” or “unwise.” Apparently, the only halachic authorities we’re allowed to listen to are the ones who’d get invited to a Georgetown cocktail hour.
“It is not even odious, in my view, to help a non-Jew violate Noahide Law.”
Let me translate that into English: “Helping people sin is fine, as long as it doesn’t get me canceled.”
The Real Motivation
And here, boys and girls, is where we get to the meat:
“Encouraging Noahide law might be politically or practically unwise… sometimes that trumps the priority.”
This is the only honest sentence in the entire article.
Michael isn’t worried about Torah. Michael is worried about tenure. He wants to keep writing in progressive journals while still calling himself Orthodox. He wants to be hugged by the RCA and the ADL. So instead of Torah, we get cafeteria halacha: skip the stuff that tastes hard, load up on moral relativity.
Let’s Talk Abortion
According to Broyde, we can’t create a consistent abortion law that satisfies both Halacha and Noahide law—so what’s the solution? Ditch both! Embrace “moral autonomy.” Which, in Michael’s world, means doing whatever the hell you want while quoting Rabbi Feinstein out of context.
He invents a fictitious Jewish legal concept: that Judaism somehow celebrates “freedom of individual conscience in life and death matters.” That’s not Judaism. That’s Unitarianism in a yarmulke.
“Abortion might be a potential life… but hey, religious liberty!”
This is the moral equivalent of calling your mistress a “soulmate.”
The Finale
Michael ends with a suggestion: abortion should be legal in the first two trimesters, with a religious opt-out clause. This, despite the fact that such a policy would explicitly violate Noahide law and kill thousands of unborn children.
But hey, at least his colleagues won’t call him a fascist.
Final Thoughts
Michael Broyde is a fraud. He’s a fraud as a rabbi, a fraud as a legal scholar, and—worst of all—a fraud as a thinker. His article is not just wrong, it’s cowardly. It's the halachic equivalent of lip-syncing on Yom Kippur.
The man who once made up a whole fake rabbi to praise his Torah is now making up a whole fake Torah to praise his politics. And that, dear readers, is the only consistent ethic Michael Broyde has ever had.
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